Medical School

*breath*

I use to want to be a doctor. Everything I did revolved around my dream. I volunteered, I worked in hospitals, I joined clubs, organizations, EVERYTHING so that my resume come college graduation was AMAZING. I graduated at 20 with a chemistry degree... I took a year off to live... I changed my mind.

I decided that being a doctor was too political. That I couldn't handle the pressure, that it wasn't what I had imagined. I thought of the horrible things I'd seen working in hospitals, how people weren't grateful anymore, how I couldn't take it if it was MY fault someone died.

I decided to be safe, declining my acceptance into one of America's top 10 medical schools without telling anyone and decided to be a laywer.

I took my LSATS, did rather well, and was SUPPOSED to be working on my law school applications - as we speak. Till my friend calls me:

"Guess what"
"what?"
"You're going to be surprised"
"WHAT?"
"I applied to this medical school in the caribbean and got in, I think I'm going."
"WHAT YOU HAVN'T EVEN TAKEN YOUR MCAT?!"
"You don't need your MCAT, me D and F all got accepted, I'm going to start attending January"
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"

And then all my longing for science returned. I was jealous. Not only that but I KNEW I could go. That I could've gone, that I was a lost cause.

So I got the name of the school, realizing they have rolling admission until the 30th, and I've decided to apply.

I need 2 recommendations on their letter head. I e mailed an old chem professor of mine and will probably ask my boss for the other. I need my official transcript but was assured by my friend that you can just FAX it to them and mail them the official later. I need to fill out an application, then complete an interview over the phone - all of these things I've gone through... but tell me.

Why all of a sudden do I want this now?

Why am I applying to a school that is not only not worth my merit, but kinda excited about it?

Why didn't I just do this a year and a half ago?

Why?!