Free Hugs

I miss home...

I will pummel you

There is a lesbian at my school. Your standard man-like female that tries to lift heavy weights and therefore has massive arms, yet wants to be feminine and wears sun dresses (it doesn't work I know). She has a massive tattoo of a piece of work by davinci... and it extends from her deltoid to her elbow. It doesn't really match her sundresses at all...

Anyway - I am a nice person. I swear I am. Though I blog about the nasty shit I think, I do not try to judge people. A lot of people didn't associate with said lesbian - i thought it was because they were homophobic.

I was wrong.

She's as mental as they come - and as much as I tried to stick up for her, it wasn't until she had one of her common aggressive outbursts directed towards me when I backed off.

There's a long story behind this. I'm not sure how much I can go into it - but lets just say many believed she was in love with me. I will not make that claim however, because when girls get close they tend to hang out with each other a lot.

I was pretty close to her for about 2 months - we drove to school together and hit the gym together. But when she realized things between me and TB were heating up, she acted as if I had broken up with her. She even went so far as to make up some retarded story about TB going to a strip club on the island (disgusting - not because it's a strip club, those can be fun, but because there are some NASTY strippers on this island) a night he made me dinner and spent the night at my house. She of course didn't know this - and I told her she needed to get her facts straight.

I also began studying with another girl in our class because I like discussing the things I'm studying, whereas she kept to herself and didn't ask questions. She then again acted like I had broken up with her - or something of the sort. She made up lies about her life, and without going into the details... things just didn't add up.

The main reason I stopped talking to her was because of her anger. She pulled a postal worker over the counter at the post office because of a misunderstanding. She constantly went off at people, punching walls, getting in faces - and I had to babysit. I didn't like being associated with it. It didn't hit home until one night I gave her some typed up notes for our upcoming genetics exam and she called me bitching me out about how worthless they were and why i would even give them to her to begin with... then came to my house, pounding on the door in a weird and unforgetful night.

TB told me she was in love with me, my roomate told me, our mutual friends told me - i however just thought it was girl bonding. I'm guessing I was wrong.

REGARDLESS

Yesterday she threatened to pummel me after I called her out on one of her lies on an online posting site. Then after a friend tried to get me away from her (she was in my face and yelling) she grabbed my arm. Up until this point I was very calm - in fact I was laughing at her while she was going off. I informed her she didn't scare me - knowing she was bitter i didn't speak to her. I asked her what the point of her talking to me was, and told her I didn't really care what she was saying. But the second she touched me I freaked out and almost got in her face yelling at her not to ever touch me - but like in the movies my guy friend had my arm and I couldn't quite make it to her face. Other students took it to a dean, and she was forced to apologize... but I still think it's amusing.

Thought I would share - my first almost girl fight with the lesbian king.

Clarification...

That little note on TB's skype was meant for me...

On a trip to the other side of the island (half moon bay) some woman asked us if we were italian and then tried to weasle money out of us... it was supposed to be some reference to a private beach we found...

ha

... embarrassed

moving on

so we ended up talking for awhile and though I didn't bring up any valid points like "i miss you" or "i'm miserable without you," I bought some time, caught up on his life, he caught up on mine, and I'm a much happier camper.

:)

... and what is this supposed to mean?

I have 10 exams in the next three weeks... one about every other day. It includes finals and shelf exams. I am not a happy camper.

On top of it all, TB decides to send me a little e mail that made my stomach drop, butterflies, draining of blood from extremities... etc. It started out innocently, he skyped me, I told him I had a study buddy over and couldn't talk - he said we needed to. Something along the lines of: I will never forget you but you think I have. Granted I have been avoiding talking to him - but my recent lack of computer (it's back by the way, wooo!!!) had been helping me in my quest to get over him. Anyhoo... I said goodbye politely after informing him I couldn't talk now and that we could have this conversation later... and walked away. I came back to multiple messages but the one that struck a cord was his away message "and my italian girlfriend... ;)" Written in english... to SOMEONE WHO WAS NOT ME - and that definitly didn't feel too good. Anyway, the e mail I recieved right after left me much more confused:

Subject: :(
Body:

Hi Miezie,

I can’t sleep so I decided to write you. All I wanted to say is that I think that you opened my eyes today. I hope you haven’t buried the TB you got to know in Antigua yet.

All I can say is that I hope that this was the real TB, not the guy who must have acted like a stranger for you. You are still one of the most important people in my life and I am afraid of losing you, honey.

Your TB


(isn't his broken english cute?) - ok ok sorry

- what is that e mail supposed to mean. I barely said 2 words to him on skype, how the hell did I open his eyes?

*grumble*

I still don't like this butterfly in tummy, i'm going to be sick feeling... I need to get off this damn island!!!

Please stay to the outside of the parked cars, or I WILL hit you

The streets of St. John's Antigua are tiny. They're tiny AND people park on them which makes them even MORE tiny. They're tiny, people park on them, AND there are no sidewalks - which means that an already small shitty road is used as a parking lot, sidewalk and a main road.

With that in mind:

The other day while driving from Jolly Harbour to the north of the island... I tapped a girl with my sideview mirror during traffic. She squealed quite audibly and I kept going forward.

30 seconds later after my roomate and I had exchanged the "oh my god what happened" looks, we both had a fit of uncontrollable laughter that lasted for about 5 minutes.

So hear me out:
The girl knew there was traffic, and instead of walking on the outside of the parked cars was walking along the inside so cars would have to avoid HER in a defiant typical Antiguan "I am better than you" fashion. I feel she deserved the tap with the sideview mirror... and every time I think about it I still laugh.

I am a horrible person

Your typical girly bitch and moan

So I haven't had a computer in a long ass time - therefore contact with TB has been scarce. I also havn't had ready access to the internet, therefore even if I DID want to converse with him, I wouldn't be able to... but things are changing. I moved to a new house about a week ago closer to campus, and low and behold it comes with internet. So my internet addiction has been coming back to life through my roommate's computer. My computer is also coming in from the states on wednesday. I am dreading this - I'll tell you why:

Though my contact with TB has been limited, I still miss him. But that's ok because I havn't been able to tell him this whole missing nonesense, and made me very unavailable. This should have helped me miss him less and move on with the break up - realizing the things used to talk myself into the break up in the first place.

WRONG

It's called displacement, or something like that. I put aside everything I was feeling and now that I can go online, and I see him, I miss him even more!!! I am actually starting to think I'm getting a little depressed, but I know I'm not that stupid. I just get sad.

So here's the stupid girly whine:
I liked him a lot, why did I break up with him. I liked him a lot but I know nothing would happen. If I knew nothing would happen why did I commit to him. Now that I'm sure nothing could happen why do I miss him. WHY THE HELL AM I STILL THINKING OF HIM WHEN I CAN BE SUCH A BITCH TO OTHER PEOPLE... and last but not least... :( why couldn't he just be from somewhere back home where it could have lead to an actual relationship.

It doesn't help that he tries to contact me at random times... ugh - whining over.

I wish there was someone on this damn island I could recycle

"Here's your fucking patriot act"

This has got to be one of the most disgusting displays of COWARDICE I have ever seen. How could people just stand around while this shit was going on? You can't just hurt someone cause they're not listening to you, that's torture.

It's Kitty Genovese all over again. Disgusting.

Article from: The Daily Bruin

"An incident late Tuesday night in which a UCLA student was stunned at least four times with a Taser has left the UCLA community questioning whether the university police officers' use of force was an appropriate response to the situation.

Mostafa Tabatabainejad, a UCLA student, was repeatedly stunned with a Taser and then taken into custody when he did not exit the CLICC Lab in Powell Library in a timely manner. Community Service Officers had asked Tabatabainejad to leave after he failed to produce his BruinCard during a random check at around 11:30 p.m. Tuesday.

UCPD Assistant Chief of Police Jeff Young said the checks are a standard procedure in the library after 11 p.m.

"Because of the safety of the students we limit the use after 11 to just students, staff and faculty," Young said.

Young said the CSOs on duty in the library at the time went to get UCPD officers when Tabatabainejad did not immediately leave, and UCPD officers resorted to use of the Taser when Tabatabainejad did not do as he was told.

A six-minute video showed Tabatabainejad audibly screaming in pain as he was stunned several times with a Taser, each time for three to five seconds. He was told repeatedly to stand up and stop fighting, and was told that if he did not do so he would "get Tased again."

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Tabatabainejad was also stunned with the Taser when he was already handcuffed, said Carlos Zaragoza, a third-year English and history student who witnessed the incident.

"(He was) no possible danger to any of the police," Zaragoza said. "(He was) getting shocked and Tasered as he was handcuffed."

But Young said at the time the police likely had no way of knowing whether the individual was armed or that he was a student.

As Tabatabainejad was being dragged through the room by two officers, he repeated in a strained scream, "I'm not fighting you" and "I said I would leave."

The officers used the "drive stun" setting in the Taser, which delivers a shock to a specific part of the body with the front of the Taser, Young said.

A Taser delivers volts of low-amperage energy to the body, causing a disruption of the body's electrical energy pulses and locking the muscles, according to a report by the American Civil Liberties Union.

"It's an electrical shock. ... It causes pain," Young said, adding that the drive stun would not likely demobilize a person or cause residual pain after the shock was administered. Young also said a Taser is less forceful than a baton, for example.

But according to a study published in the Lancet Medical Journal in 2001, a charge of three to five seconds can result in immobilization for five to 15 minutes, which would mean that Tabatabainejad could have been physically unable to stand when the officers demanded that he do so.

"It is a real mistake to treat a Taser as some benign thing that painlessly brings people under control," said Peter Eliasberg, managing attorney at the ACLU of Southern California.

"The Taser can be incredibly violent and result in death," Eliasberg said.

According to an ACLU report, 148 people in the United States and Canada have died as a result of the use of Tasers since 1999.

During the altercation between Tabatabainejad and the officers, bystanders can be heard in the video repeatedly asking the officers to stop and requesting their names and identification numbers. The video showed one officer responding to a student by threatening that the student would "get Tased too." At this point, the officer was still holding a Taser.

Such a threat of the use of force by a law enforcement officer in response to a request for a badge number is an "illegal assault," Eliasberg said.

"It is absolutely illegal to threaten anyone who asks for a badge â€" that's assault," he said.

Tabatabainejad was released from custody after being given a citation for obstruction/delay of a peace officer in the performance of duty.

Neither Tabatabainejad nor his family were giving interviews Wednesday.

Police officers said they determined the use of Tasers was necessary when Tabatabainejad did not do as they asked.

According to a UCPD press release, Tabatabainejad went limp and refused to exit as the officers attempted to escort him out. The release also stated Tabatabainejad "encouraged library patrons to join his resistance." At this point, the officers "deemed it necessary to use the Taser in a "drive stun' capacity."

"He wasn't cooperative; he wouldn't identify himself. He resisted the officers," Young said.

Neither the video footage nor eyewitness accounts of the events confirmed that Tabatabainejad encouraged resistance, and he repeatedly told the officers he was not fighting and would leave.

Tabatabainejad was walking with his backpack toward the door when he was approached by two UCPD officers, one of whom grabbed the student's arm. In response, Tabatabainejad yelled at the officers to "get off me." Following this demand, Tabatabainejad was stunned with a Taser.

UCPD and the UCLA administration would not comment on the specifics of the incident as it is still under investigation.

In a statement released Wednesday, Interim Chancellor Norman Abrams said investigators were reviewing the situation and the officers' actions.

"I can assure you that these reviews will be thorough, vigorous and fair," Abrams said.

The incident, which Zaragoza described as an example of "police brutality," left many students disturbed.

"I realize when looking at these kind of arrest tapes that they don't always show the full picture. ... But that six minutes that we can watch just seems like it's a ridiculous amount of force for someone being escorted because they forgot their BruinCard," said Ali Ghandour, a fourth-year anthropology student.

"It certainly makes you wonder if something as small as forgetting your BruinCard can eventually lead to getting Tased several times in front of the library," he added.

Edouard Tchertchian, a third-year mathematics student, said he was concerned that the student was not offered any other means of showing that he was a UCLA student."

[Source]