So I haven't had a computer in a long ass time - therefore contact with TB has been scarce. I also havn't had ready access to the internet, therefore even if I DID want to converse with him, I wouldn't be able to... but things are changing. I moved to a new house about a week ago closer to campus, and low and behold it comes with internet. So my internet addiction has been coming back to life through my roommate's computer. My computer is also coming in from the states on wednesday. I am dreading this - I'll tell you why:
Though my contact with TB has been limited, I still miss him. But that's ok because I havn't been able to tell him this whole missing nonesense, and made me very unavailable. This should have helped me miss him less and move on with the break up - realizing the things used to talk myself into the break up in the first place.
WRONG
It's called displacement, or something like that. I put aside everything I was feeling and now that I can go online, and I see him, I miss him even more!!! I am actually starting to think I'm getting a little depressed, but I know I'm not that stupid. I just get sad.
So here's the stupid girly whine:
I liked him a lot, why did I break up with him. I liked him a lot but I know nothing would happen. If I knew nothing would happen why did I commit to him. Now that I'm sure nothing could happen why do I miss him. WHY THE HELL AM I STILL THINKING OF HIM WHEN I CAN BE SUCH A BITCH TO OTHER PEOPLE... and last but not least... :( why couldn't he just be from somewhere back home where it could have lead to an actual relationship.
It doesn't help that he tries to contact me at random times... ugh - whining over.
I wish there was someone on this damn island I could recycle
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
[
19 comments:
Fucking waah.
Excuse, G-hero. He's frustrated because his love life is messed up.
You're thinking about TB because you actually really liked him. But, the indefinite distance thing would've ruined it eventually. Better to breakup melancholy than angry.
You have the mother matchmaking thing going on to distract yourself with!
Update us on your hotties!
it's not like i'm REALLY sad - just highly annoyed with this emotion i'm feeling.
bah humbug
So... basically, you're being histrionic.
I try to avoid feeling emotions other than anger, irritation, aggression, frustration... all the driving, piss-offitude ones. I need the appropriate motivation to pull off being me.
no, i don't think i'm being overly dramatic. Denial might be more appropriate. If I were being histrionic, I would be posting a million times a day about how sad i was, and how my heart was broken, woe is me, yadda yadda yadda
no.
"No."
Eloquent. Not loquacious, but eloquent. No what?
i don't remember why the second no was stuck in there.
i have a bad memory, can't you tell?
Nic needs a hug... Since I'm neither able at the moment, nor particularly inclined in general to perform such an act, I will make fun of her instead:
PCG likes to blame avoidance behaviors on bad memory. Just a thought.
why would i avoid telling you what the second no was for?
You're a wimp? How would I know? I was just pointing out a parallel I noticed.
Granted, I have no idea the person you are, and no one likes hearing any of this crap...but it'll all work itself out. I'm almost 30 and I feel like I've lived many lives romantically. I moved up to Boston for a girl that I was totally in love with and that self-combusted completely. That was a very, very dark time. I had to do a lot of soul searching, blah blah....
But you're young, you're apparently attractive as you've got all these dudes I've read about all over this blog, and things will get better. But be sad, be angry. It's healthy and fine. But realize that life will work itself out. I promise. I still have a lot to figure out....Sweet Jesus do I.
Do I really have a lot of guys around my blog?
... what a floozie!
self combustion sucks -- sucks even more that you had to relocate to experience it. Though your sorrow was out of your has, mine was totally avoidable. I think that's the biggest annoyance of this mess.
1. I could have avoided it.
2. I ended it.
*grumble*
Deez. That's all I have to say about that.
You have two choices: Live through it, or die. Life may be painful, but the alternative probably sucks. Death is generally not a great option.
Waitaminnit? All these dudes? I may have to be jealous... Floozie!!
Floozie is one of those amusing words... like "fart." And "burp." "Squirt." "Twit."
Yeah, you made the call. Which sucks now. I've done that and then second guessed it for awhile, but in the end it was the right move.
And it's better that you made the move, than the bomb got dropped on you, I think.
What sort of advice is that? Pre-emptive dumping people? You and the idiot son of an asshole need some diplomacy lessons, bub. Remember the "better to have loved and lost..." bit? Now, never getting involved in the first place, THAT makes sense...
Alright dude, "better to have loved and lost" is some great happy horseshit, until it happens and you find yourself wondering how much you'd have to drink before you could get up the nerve to throw yourself in front of a subway train.
Spare me the romance. Being in control of the dumping doesn't make you a prince or even a decent person, but it can shield your pain a little bit. And in the end, it is really all about looking out for you. No matter what bullshit Hallmark tells you.
heeeeeeeey, i like that mentality :)
Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely no romantic.
Putting a .45 in your forehead will spare you the same, but I doubt you're recommending it. Life hurts. Avoidance hurts more, because you have to wonder "what if." Most of the time you can do something or you can do nothing. Doing nothing is usually doing something.
I am a cynic, but at least my dark view of the world is founded on the premise that one can live in it. I am developing a better understanding of the parallels between your perceptions and those of the idiot son of an asshole.
www.astho.org/pubs/The_Essentials_of_an_Exercise2-GrahamCampbellcompressed.ppt
http://www.mass.gov/dph/bioterrorism/advisorygrps/pdfs/ed_contact_list.pdf
www.mass.gov/dph/bioterrorism/advisorygrps/pdfs/education_training_minutes_5_04.pdf
At least Boston is cool enough.
Why don't people use aliases? What are people not using aliases thinking?
Post a Comment