Broken

I'm scared.

I'm scared because the last time my heart and my mind disagreed, I ended up listening to my mind.

I'm scared because it took me over 2 years to finally get over that decision, thought in the end I know it was the right one... it's only because AG changed into someone he wasn't when I was with him through our distance.

I'm scared because CE ruined me, and I now have fears that I never had before dealing from little things, to relationships.

I'm scared because I look in the mirror and I don't understand who I'm becoming, and why I'm letting this happen to me, why I'm letting KE do this to me.

I'm scared because I'm trying to do what's best for me... but in the end I only feel better when I speak to him, and I know it's not right.

I'm scared because I know I have to move on, and as much as I try. I can't.

I'm scared because I depend on him, not only for friendship, but for everything - and I blame CE for breaking me.

I'm scared because I'm broken.

I'm scared because I let myself get broken.

I just want to be the old me, where I didn't give a shit about anyone and put myself first. It's just right now I'm scared because the only problem... is KE, and the fact that after 8 months... I'm still clinging to a hope he'll come around. Even though most of the time, I let him believe I don't give a shit. I let him believe I date others... even though I'm not.

I can't.

No one since him has interested me.

Fuck you CE, this is the reason you disgust me.

Look what you've done.

You broke me.