47 days

I think I've taken too many of my herbal brain stimulators.

I'm sitting here typing up CNS trying to get path out of the way, so I can make my way into the world of EKG's and OBGYN for my ICM quiz on monday.

I think I'm more focused now. I am still numb about the weird phone calls. Apparently a silver SUV came by our house again last night, pulled into the driveway, honked, and left... I however was out eating dinner with a friend from back home and people who were visiting her here. So I am just pretending it didn't happen. All this has really done to me is cause me to be more afraid of the dark (like walking to my car parked in the garage alone) and cause distress before quizzes.

I have tests coming up, so I hope this gets fixed.

What can I procrastinate with by telling you about?

I haven't talked to TB since the weird girlfriend incident. Actually, I haven't even thought about him since then. Funny.

Thing with navy are... hmmm. I've convinced myself it's not going anywhere. This all stems from a nice little convo I had with him when he drunk dialed me:
Navy: "What do you think will happen with us when you get home?"
Nic: "I don't know"
Navy: "You shouldn't be answering like that by now, you should know"
Nic: "It's complicated"
Navy: "Why?"
*silence*
Navy: "Tell me"
*silence*
Navy: "Are you seeing someone on the island?"
Nic: "WHAT?!"
Navy:"Then what?"
Nic: "It's just stuff I want to talk about when I come home, after I figure out if we actually feel like this when we're around each other"
Navy: "Spill"
Nic: "It's just that, there's a future to think about. I'm in GRAD SCHOOL, you're a freshman in college credit wise. I understand you've been working, but even if you went to school full time you wouldn't be graduated in two years and how could I introduce you to my parents? You're military, no college degree, and only have a promise that you want to make it big as an entrepreneur."
Navy: "So you're telling me that my future plans and education is going to affect if you date me?"
*silence*
Navy: "Would that make a difference?"
Nic: "I don't know"
*silence*
Nic: "Does that bother you?"
Navy: "Kinda"
Nic: "You have to understand, it's a cultural thing"
Navy: "What if I told you I knew all I'd only be getting is my associates, that I know that I would be a success without a college degree?"
Nic: "Let me tell you a story, psycho was/is going to be a politician. He was/is going to be a success. He was in college when I started dating him, but he was an idiot and didn't register for his class properly, so he just stopped going. He didn't come from a good family, his mother is a drunk, and his father beat him or something - he definitely fucked him up. He was the first in his family to stand on his own and he was SURE, he is SURE he's going to be someone. He told me that FOUR years ago before I committed to him, and look where he is now? Reenlisted in the military and psychotic."
Navy: "don't compare me to him"
Nic: "And what's the point of an associates you might as well not even get a degree"
Navy: "I don't want to talk about this anymore"
Nic: "You brought it up"
Navy: "We'll figure this out when you get home"
Nic: "We have to"
Navy: "I just base how I feel about someone on them as a person, not them on paper."
Nic: "Yeah, I use to be like that to"

He passed out a couple minutes later with me on the phone... so that little tingly feeling with him is kinda... i dunno. When I'm around I can't wait to get him on the phone, and then when he's there I have nothing to say to him. I guess the education thing really does matter to me. But I shouldn't even really be caring if I don't know how I really feel right?