The flight of the bumblebee

So things here are… well ugh – it’s Antigua, it’ll never be home. School is… school. I’m liking my biochemistry class a lot – yet everyone around me seems to hate it. Odd. Eh, I guess I just have a different learning ability. I like biochem, maybe I should’ve gone into research… I’m starting to lean towards pediatrics. I love kids. I want to do some pro bono work atleast one month out of the year out of country, and although pediatricians don’t make that much money… well – I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.

We had a boat full of navy boys pull in this week. I’ve never been so ashamed of my fellow Americans. From bar fights, to puking on themselves, to running around naked on our beach, to flat out being rude – they sure did represent our country well. It’s pretty bad when I’m stuck on this god forsaken island and I don’t find a single one of them attractive because of their lack of manners. They pretty much disgusted me, and should be ashamed of themselves. On the other hand I did meet some really cool ones, I met a cook who other than being really young showed me his camera with almost everything he’s experienced on his first cruise. He’d come from a very poor white trashish area and the things he was witnessing and the places he was going, not to mention the amount of money he was getting paid to experience it all was overwhelming him. He was an artist, showed me a couple of his drawings, his camera had films of planes taking off and landing on the aircraft carrier that he was going to show his family back home. I met an older man who’d been enlisted for 17 years. He was very respectful and kept apologizing about all the “young’uns botherin’ us”. It was cute. Anyway – I slacked off most of the week either talking to them, or one of sp’s friends that came to visit.

That is a story within itself. Sp brought a girl into town. She’s cute, not hot but cute, typical blonde, not a very athletic body – just skinny. Anyway he’s completely in love with her – and she… she can’t stand him. So she’s been clinging to me for dear life, poor girl. Therefore sp’s been skipping class to be with her, and basically smothering her – while she runs away and tries to hang out with me as much as possible. She assumed she’d be visiting a close friend, he thought he’d be having lots and lots of sex.

*sigh*

men are idiots.

Speaking of idiots – CPE. He’s definitely fighting for me, you can’t blame a guy for trying. It’s pretty bad how he knows me as well as he does, because he’s doing everything right. He’s giving me space but at the same time sending emails saying the right thing. It’s hard because I know I’ll never want to be with him, I know we’ll never work, I know I’ll get sick of him easily, but at a distance non of that seems to matter and I find myself smiling at his e mails, laughing at his corny jokes… UGH!!! WHAT THE HELL!!! He also wants to come and visit. I’m torn between knowing it’ll be a bad idea, and wanting him to come – just for a couple of days.

I just want to cuddle, is that so bad?

Ha.