The inevitable happened, I recycled CPE. I’m ashamed to actually admit it, but I would like to throw in there that I was drunk… both times. Oops.
It was a definite booty call. He was on assignment somewhere near me, or atleast near enough. He called me while I was drunk and, well, I wake up naked in his hotel room (it was very comfortable by the way) sore as hell. Apparently not having sex for almost a year made the experience mirror the loss of my virginity. OWIE. Lesson learned. Hurt even more the next night… yes I tried.
Contrary to popular belief I really am a good girl. I’ve only slept with the same amount of men as I have loved - hence, my recycling ability. Sex with strangers is dirty – I know of too many things that could go wrong or things you can contract that would definitely NOT make it worth it.
Here’s the bad part. He told me he loved me after…
*banging head against the wall*
I tried explaining to him that the only reason he thought he loved me is because I’m the only girl that’s rejected him. He’s a pretty boy. The kid snaps his fingers and has girls falling all over him. I asked him if he really loved me why he fucked up… over and over again. Why when I left him the first time and he had almost won me back did he revert back to his old ways. I tried explaining to him that it’s not me he wanted, but the chase. I tried to be as blunt as possible. I DO care about him… I just wish he wasn’t still hung up on me. I don’t want to lead him on, I know how that feels.
Ugh I feel horrible.
But there it is. I recycled. He was too big – it hurt. Now my lust for sex is gone and it’s been replaced by a need for cuddling, and movies, and kissing, and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED TO ME!!!
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The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-Jilly Cooper
"The chief cause of unhappiness and failure, is trading what you want most, for what you want at the moment."
Dear god, I should"ve been born a gay man
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6 comments:
Cuddling is nice. Doesn't run the risk of confusing sex with love.
I think you nailed it when you said he just didn't like being rejected. I think I know what it feels like being him... which makes me sad for him too... since he's obviously still hung up on you.
But hey! If he treated you badly over and over again...
Wait, am I condoning this?
No no! Stick to cuddling! No recycling, Nic!
You embody what is wrong with my generation. When you get HIV, or HPV, or HTLV, or any of two dozen other nasty diseases, or have a psycho stalker, or get pregnant, we'll have this conversation.
My disapproval was expected and well-known. Being that I turned down a woman who had her head in my lap on Friday, I can honestly say that I practice what I preach.
But on the other hand... SCORE!!! You went a bit into the TMI zone there too...
ack! i used protection!
So did most of the people I know with STDs. You'll fit in so well.
cool
introduce me
do they like cuddling?
You are officially barred from ever touching anything I may come into contact with, as you are quite probably pestilence-ridden. Queen of Gonnaherpesyphilaids.
I was working on all sorts of snyde (not snide, but snyde) responses, but decided I would have to play around with "cuddling" to do it, and I just can't stomach that right now.
You want to meet people with STDs? Actually, I was thinking, I don't really know too many people who admit having them anymore... with some notable exceptions.
My ichor is somewhat diminished. I just got an email from the woman who put her head in my lap last Friday. How delicate can you be with your response to "I hope you don't think I was a drunken idiot, and that I didn't annoy you too much"? Still in "don't bruise the feelings too much" mode. Not a default switch-setting for me.
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