To the IDIOT who stole my dog thinking it would win me back.

Listen you FUCKING idiot. The fact that you got me in the first place amazes me. You were fun to look at, I’ll admit that (before you gained the recent 20 pounds) but the fact that I put up with you for almost a year astounds me. No I WILL NOT TAKE YOU BACK. Do you really think that by STEALING MY PUPPY you'll get any type of sympathy from me? No I will not come to your house to play with him. No I will not meet you anywhere to see him. The fact that you call me and accuse me of not loving him because I don't call you to see how he is MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT. I DON'T CALL YOU BECAUSE YOU DISGUST ME. YOU STOLE MY PUPPY!

Now you have a death in the family, and you say I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF HIM. News flash, I MOVED. NO PETS ALLOWED. Idiot. I'd love to take my puppy back, change my number, and never have to deal with you again, but I can't. No I will not drive all the way out to fucking LORTON and walk my poor pooch once or twice a day. I don’t have enough time to waste 40 minutes on commute EACH WAY twice a day because you don’t have any friends to help you out. I have a life, and THE BIGGEST TEST OF MY FUCKING LIFE in 5 days. Hear that idiot? 5 DAYS! Maybe you don't understand this, but the MCATS ARE HARD. They require some attention so I can ACTUALLY HAVE A FUTURE. Unlike you. You fucking loser.

In some ways I think this is another ploy to find out where I live. I DON'T TELL YOU WHERE I LIVE BECAUSE I THINK YOU'RE PSYCHOTIC. STOP ASKING ME. Stop asking me how many bedrooms, what exit I'm off of 395, how much rent I pay... you scare me. And the whole line with friends should know where friends live is valid, IF YOU WERE MY FRIEND.

I understand you might find this surprising seeing how I talk to you sometimes... when you call me crying. I don't have the heart to tell you to grow up and get a life. I pity your current girlfriend. I pity whoever you impregnate. I pity your offspring. But most of all I pity my poor puppy.

YOU STOLE MY PUPPY YOU ASSHOLE and now there's no way I can get him back. He loves me more and you hate it. He listens to me when I give him commands, and he shits all over your apartment.

Take that.

Idiot.

Good puppy.