Bad omens?

It was a dark and stormy night... well, atleast it felt like it when

MY COMPUTER CRASHED!!!
*dramatic scary music inserted here*

The horror!!!

I was minding my business, procrastinating (just a little) with the usual myspace, gmail, and etc when *PEERRWWN* <~~ that was the sound my computer made when it DIED!!!

I luckily got it to turn back on long enough to back up inportant things such as pictures and class notes - and a few really cool programs before *PEERWWWN* blank screen. death.

I of course freak out, and luckily my friend's little sister from back home was visiting, and I decided very hastily that I refuse to be on this island without my laptop, and sent it home with her so the nice people at circuit city could fullfill their warrently requirements. Here I insert the bad omens:

1. I call my mother:
"Mom."
"WHAT'S WRONG" in the overly dramatic I'm your mother worried voice
"My computer died, I'm sending it home"
"oh thank god"
"WHAT?!"
"No, I just had this horrible nightmare about you and thought something had happened"
"huh? - nightmare?"
"just be careful"

- ok, so I believe a little in dreams and signs and etc. Don't judge me - there have been some weird things that've happened, even this semester that I may or may not feel like blogging.

2. my roomate drops almost every single thing she touches.
- she is normally a very very organized and... un-clumsy (i made it up, carry on) person, and the fact that dropping things is a bad omen in my culture and means someone is thinking ill of you is no better. This comes to my attention right after my mother tells me she has horrible dreams about me and was worried about me.
- my roomate's computer also crashes, and she drops her really cool cell phone into (get this) a glass of coke.
HOW DO YOU DROP A PHONE INTO AN ITTY BITTY GLASS OF COKE!?

- anyway, not that important, but another little notch in my every growing superstitious mind

and finally:
3. TB calls me at 4 in the morning. Not only is this odd because he never calls me, it's odd because we just broke up, he doesn't believe in superstition bs, and because even while dating he never called from a land line or phone, just internet phone or calling cards:
*groggy* hewwow?"
"Nic?"
"yeah"
"you ok?"
"yeah"
"you asleep? sorry i didn't realize it was 4"
"It's ok"
"I had a horrible nightmare about you and wanted to make sure you were ok"
"nightmare what?!" *WIDE AWAKE*
"sorry, it was a really bad nightmare, I just wanted to make sure you were ok"
"that's fine"
"how've you been?"
"I think I'm going to die"

and there it is. I think I'm going to die.


DIE DIE DIE

everyone's having bad dreams about me, my roomate is dropping shit, and not to mention one of my friends recently woke up with a local hovering over her bed while his homey's stole her computer, books, ipod, and other digital expensive items. (this goes along with that other blog that i might or might not write where i dreamed this occurance the night before)

I'm going to die.

peace out

So today's the day.

Things with TB will end today - but he doesn't know that. It's one of the many steps I've taken that have shocked me since coming to this island.

I am turning 24 soon. The big 24. The age I told myself would be the earliest I would ever get married.

Don't get your panties in a bunch I'm not thinking of getting married.

But I have realized I have to stop acting like I don't care about anything or anyone, and make an effort to meet someone of substance without doing the whole bullshit relationship thing.

TB is hot. He's hot, ambitious, loves me and... is in Germany. We have amazing converstions, intellectually stimulate each other and he lives in GERMANY! I have convinced myself this is a bullshit relationship. One that will boggle me down for atleast another year, lead to serious discussion, and lead to absolutely nothing - which will leave me at almost 25 and single looking for a husband. No thank you.

So (very unlike me) I told myself to take the high road. To take the relationship as it was, an amazing and almost perfect summer romance, and leave it to its good memories. To not drag it down to the point where we fight over nothing, avoid each other, and force each other to see each other during our breaks because we have to. To in a way... act like a grown up and realize this isn't the best for my future and end it while I can. It's hard enough after 4 months - imagine another year. BAH!

So I told him we wouldn't talk for a week. I turned the tables and made him think I was letting him think about things and prioritizing his upcoming exams with my distractions. We're going to speak today for the first time, and I'm going to tell him I didn't miss him. I'm going to tell him school is more important than him, and that we should just be friends. Even writing this is ripping my heart out, but it's for the best.

He's perfect, and he'll find a perfect little german girl to keep him company.

I've already caught myself turning back into the old nic, and playing little attention games with the newbies at school. Then I kick myself when they come to study with me in the library. Ugh.

:( bye TB, you will be missed.