Things with TB will end today - but he doesn't know that. It's one of the many steps I've taken that have shocked me since coming to this island.
I am turning 24 soon. The big 24. The age I told myself would be the earliest I would ever get married.
Don't get your panties in a bunch I'm not thinking of getting married.
But I have realized I have to stop acting like I don't care about anything or anyone, and make an effort to meet someone of substance without doing the whole bullshit relationship thing.
TB is hot. He's hot, ambitious, loves me and... is in Germany. We have amazing converstions, intellectually stimulate each other and he lives in GERMANY! I have convinced myself this is a bullshit relationship. One that will boggle me down for atleast another year, lead to serious discussion, and lead to absolutely nothing - which will leave me at almost 25 and single looking for a husband. No thank you.
So (very unlike me) I told myself to take the high road. To take the relationship as it was, an amazing and almost perfect summer romance, and leave it to its good memories. To not drag it down to the point where we fight over nothing, avoid each other, and force each other to see each other during our breaks because we have to. To in a way... act like a grown up and realize this isn't the best for my future and end it while I can. It's hard enough after 4 months - imagine another year. BAH!
So I told him we wouldn't talk for a week. I turned the tables and made him think I was letting him think about things and prioritizing his upcoming exams with my distractions. We're going to speak today for the first time, and I'm going to tell him I didn't miss him. I'm going to tell him school is more important than him, and that we should just be friends. Even writing this is ripping my heart out, but it's for the best.
He's perfect, and he'll find a perfect little german girl to keep him company.
I've already caught myself turning back into the old nic, and playing little attention games with the newbies at school. Then I kick myself when they come to study with me in the library. Ugh.
:( bye TB, you will be missed.
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20 comments:
Where's my brilliant comment? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CENSORSHIP!!
I didn't censor, i have it in my inbox, i don't know why it's not here
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Censorship!!!!
I can't resize your comment window. I don't like this. Probably my browser's fault though.
Ending things with TB is such a brave thing to do. I think this way you'll be able to remember him fondly and not have petty fights to ruin the memories.
I demand that you append my censored brilliance to your post. Brilliance is like a snowflake... unique... fragile... cold.
It's all lies. TB was jealous of me, so she had to kick him to the curb... TO THE CURB!!!
I am in a wierd mood right now. WIERD. WIIIIIEEEEEEERRRRRRRD...
I happen to remember the petty fights with fondness. 7 hours of screaming and sulking over where to order pizza from... mothers walking in the room and picking up small dogs saying "oh, pookie, they're fighting... let's leave them alone." Minor stab wounds. Clothing hurled into lit fireplaces. This is the true stuff of drama.
What happened to the comment sidebar? I can't leave directions to restaurants on a whim anymore...
The word for verification is "riote." Given my mood, that's appropriate.
Ahem... This can't go on my blog, because I'll be lynched.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uPcthZL2RE&eurl=
how you doing, nic?
She's fine. She's got my screen to cry on.
Your blog design is failing. Perhaps you should put your sorrow energy into that. The comment panel and recent comments script would be good adds...
I will forever deny pointing this out to you:
www.cuteoverload.com
It never happened. It's all lies...
i dunno, i moved to beta and things went kapoey...
i don't even know where to find that stuff again :(
blogger hacks?
crap
i'm going to forever associate g with cuteoverload.com. classic.
but *NIC*...how are *YOU* doing?
g, you're not her lawyer. hush.
:)
i miss him :(
I'm flattered...
:c)
The link to blogger hacks is on my site.
How do YOU know I'm not her lawyer? How would SHE know? PHBBBBBBBT!!! That's the point of anonymity.
funny how now that G has lost his job, he's much happier
hmmmmmmmm
I vacillate. Today it hit me that I'm unemployed and I got scared for about a half an hour. There's a certain amount of cocky swagger to being me, and it takes a lot to shake that. It's happened twice this year, and that bothers me. It was happening on an extended basis at work. The extended basis is over. Now I need to find a new job during the periods it's in full effect.
... and I'm still flattered.
hmmmmmmmm
ugh, i miss him ALOT
I could choose to be offended by that.
Eh.
Is it a breakup you could rescind? How much would THAT have to suck...?
Isn't "ALOT" "A LOT" (as in two words)?
no it's still for the best, but it still sucks a month after the fact - I don't like this
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm unemployed. I don't like that either.
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